Two years ago Marvel got back some creative control of Spider-Man, the most common superhero in the world, BUT unfortunately they didn’t score back total control.
Sony, the people who own Spidey’s film license, still occupy some say in what adventures Spider-Man goes on and let’s be honest they’ve not had the best track record when it comes to the character.
So we were thinking what are some stories not even Sony would try and adapt.
Hold onto your hats because we are approximately to behold at some of the wonderful and weird adventures Spider-Man has been on that you’ll never see on the gigantic screen.
Clone Conspiracy Or Anything Clone Related At perfect… Ever
Any Spider-Man fan worth their salt knows Peter has had a complicated relationship with clones, ever since the first devilish duplicate of the Wall-Crawler reared his head back in the seventies.
Without going into detail, seriously the nineties Cone Saga may be the most convoluted chronicle in comedian book history, perfect you need to know is that Spider-Man has a lot of clones running approximately.
They’ve been edifying, they’ve been rotten, they’ve been dead, they’ve been alive, they’ve been the real Peter, they’ve been able to turn to water.
Starting to see what I mean approximately clones being complicated…
On top of perfect this confusion the Clone stories occupy always been some of the worst received sagas and books of their respective decades. So much so there was brief period of time where the word clone was banned from the Spider-Man books, and it just doesn’t create sense for Sony to ever adapt these messy tales.
Spider Island has the honour of being the first of two very edifying Spider-Man stories in this list that will never score an adaptation, not because they’re rotten but because they’re too complex.
This specific tale involves everyone in original York and their dog getting spider powers thanks to the machinations of the Jackal, the same villain who cloned Peter during The Clone Saga, with disastrous results.
The chronicle’s exciting, fun and an excellent examination of why it’s not Spidey’s powers that create him so spectacular, but instead his spirit and determination to carry out the right thing that define him as a hero.
So why won’t it be adapted? Well because the book’s a Gordian knot of a chronicle involving threads from a dozen other comics including; Venom, Captain America, The worthy, brilliant Four and many, many more.
Also it ends with the entire population turning into giant spiders… people don’t like spiders.
It’s common knowledge that Spider-Man’s powers are a result of a radioactive spider-bite that bestowed a young teen with the proportionate strength, speed and agility of a spider, among with other unbelievable abilities.
What you might not know though is that famed writer J. Michael Straczynski introduced a mystical dimension to Spidey’s powers and hinted throughout his escape that Spider-Man was in fact destined to score his sensational abilities by some worthy cosmic force that gave out ‘animal totem’ powers.
Eventually this force revealed itself to be The Other, or some other vaguely pompous quasi-mystical title, and Spider-Man found himself pursued by other worldly forces who wanted to occupy down the Spider-Totem.
Soon after this Spider-Man promptly dies, after coming down with an terrible case of the plot-related immune deficiency disorder and getting beaten up by a magic vampire called Morlun who wants to eat his tasty spider-powers.
Spidey’s death is brutal with him losing an eye and essentially being kicked up and down original York City until he looks more like a particularly well chewed steak than a man in a spider costume.
Don’t worry though The Other resurrects Spidey, with original powers including Wolverine-style claws and the power to talk to eight legged beasts.
He makes short work of Morlun with his original abilities and life goes back to typical, despite the fact Peter Parker was legally dead for like a day.
From deus-ex-machina resurrections to jarring mystical elements The Other was a mess of a chronicle that is simply too outlandish for a two hour film. Add to that the fact our hero actually dies and it becomes pretty clear why even Sony won’t be adapting this gem any time soon.
Okay so, for those who don’t know, in Marvel comedian books at least, there isn’t one single universe. There are in fact an infinite number of universes each with their own version of the wall-crawler.
Following? edifying because this is where things score weird.
In one universe there exists a group known as the Inheritors, sort of like immortal cosmic vampires who constantly starvation for ‘spiders’, and they hunt down the different Spider-Men from across the multiverse snacking on them like they’re eight-legged Dairylea Dippers.
Still with me? Excellent! You’re doing better than most comedian book fans at this point.
In Spider-Verse perfect the Spider-Men from across the multiverse gang together to stop themselves fitting lunch and whether you mediate this recap was confusing imagine what it was like trying to read it across twenty or so books.
By now I hope it’s evident why neither Sony or Marvel will ever touch this chronicle with a ten foot barge pole as perfect it serves to carry out is undermine how famous Peter Parker is in the grand scheme of things.
As you can probably expose from this scattershot recap Spider-Verse was a mess and wasn’t a hit with fans who dismissed the book for wasting a number of classic Spider-Men (The one from the nineties cartoon dies in this book) and squandering what could occupy been a very intelligent premise with a piss poor ending.
The Superior Spider-Man
Crippled and dying after decades of fighting Spider-Man the villain Otto Octavius, better known as Doc Ock, had a master design to save his own life while getting revenge on his most hated foe.
significantly than cancel Spider-Man, Otto used a specially designed robot to swap their bodies, leaving Parker trapped in Ock’s dying aged body and Octavius swinging approximately in Pete’s spider-powered body – and the worst thing is it worked.
Peter died inside Otto’s rotten and broken body while Doc Ock assumed the mantle of the Superior Spider-Man and set out to prove himself Peter’s better in every single way.
As you’d expect things didn’t precisely glide to design…
The Superior Spider-Man is widely considered one of the best and most controversial Spider-Man stories of the final decade, praised for exploring themes of redemption, trust and Orwellian attitudes to justice, while at the same time leaving fans horrified at what had happened to the original wall-crawler.
So why should it never be immortalised on celluloid? Well for a few reasons, the first being that no film could ever be long enough to carry out the chronicle justice. The Superior Spider-Man took status over 31 issues and was a shadowy, violent book that would be difficult to market to a wide audience and compressing it into a two or three hour film simply won’t work.
Add to this the fact that you can’t really sell off a murdering sociopath who stole the body of another man to prolong his own life to parents who occupy their kids to the cinema and you start to see why it’ll never happen.
Then again Deadpool worked…